The Until You Die Get Your Shit Together Days Challenge Is Upon Us.

This 30, 60, whatever-the-hell day exercise food bullshit challenge to win a CD player nonsense needs to stop. As if your body has any idea what a calendar month is. Now if you’re doing anything towards trying to be healthier you automatically get 50 gold stars. I’m just going to be an asshole about doing something for 30 days that you can’t keep up. I blame this fast pace society we live in with┬áthe never ending quest of trying to get things faster than the day before. Since you can get a sandwich in 5 minutes, emails in seconds and springs break pics from strangers in blinks, everybody wants to apply this fast pace shit to your body. Shit, you can get a full grown adult delivered to your front door if your creep level game is on fleck. But that’s not how nor has it ever been how your body works, son. It’s actually pretty fast how your body changes. It’s just your body’s fast has not caught up with todays fast and everyone is impatient with their thongs in a knot.

If you’re going to do something for the body you have to live in forever, wouldn’t it make more sense to do that shit for infinity? “But I need a jump start”. You’re not a car and you can’t ever trade in this meat costume you’re walking around in, so you might as well stop getting ready for the preseason and get your game tight for the everlasting super bowl.

All these tshirt catch phrases of it takes 10 days for you to see results, 20 days for other people to see that shit and 28 sunrises to change a behavior are only selling wrist bands and Instagram quote backgrounds, son. It takes .0 seconds to decide you want to do something. That’s about the same amount of time I decided to write this long-ass-hopefully-upset-someone post. Once that decision is made, you have however long you want to get that shit done until your body throws up the deuce. Here’s a little secret: The more you care (and really care, not just saying it out loud but still doing the same not getting anywhere behavior — that’s not caring that’s called bullshit) the faster whatever the hell you’re trying to do will happen. Not any specific day, hour or second. It will just be faster, the more you care. Plus, 30 days is thinking small. 30 days is for the weak. Be a mythical beast and do this shit for 30 lifetimes. However many days you plan on sucking air on this earth is how long your health and fitness plan should be slash last.