There is No Reset Button

Ohh it’s coming son. We’re 1 day away from the justification of a 2 month skid of shoveling bad decisions in our mouths, giving our belts stretch marks, and pushing our jeans to the brink of existence because of the 3 most gluttonous ass holidays coming up on the calendar. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and whatever winter holiday you celebrate where you dump copious amounts of awesomely dumb shit in your face hole (HELL YEAH!!!) are vastly approaching. Please don’t do this reckless shit for 8 weeks straight. Sure enjoy the holidays, have a treat here and there but it’s a far cry from enjoying a couple gingerbread muffins to catastrophically destroying a village of tan cookie men and their gum drop button families at your company’s pretend you like the people you work with pot luck ugly sweater gathering.

I know your horrible not gonna work plan son. Eat like Grimace from now until Dec. 31 and then turn this shit around the first of the year. Go to hell. How gawd damn dare you. When has that backwards ass plan ever worked? There’s no reset button for your body and your body has no clue what day of the year it is on the calendar. January 1st means jack shit to the meat costume you’re walking around in that’s been binging on candy corn, stuffing, and Christmas pudding for 60 plus days. Don’t start later when you could/SHOULD start now. Putting yourself in a deeper hole by pounding sugar and spice and everything fucking terrible for your body for the next couple of months, only makes trying to get right at the start of the new year that much harder to achieve.