Celebrity Fitness

You want to look like your favorite celebrity huh? I got you boss. First (now this is crucial) get some talent, skill, or ability where people will pay lots of money to come see you, kiss your ass, and buy your shit for always because free time cost money and you’re going to need a lot of it. Next, pray that your parents gave you great genetics because if they didn’t, you’re regimen is going to be so ridiculously real and constant that this is going to fucking suck especially as you get older. Now, you need to trainer, nutritionist, and chef up and that shit ain’t going to be cheap. I hope you love working out because you’re going to be doing a shit ton of it and it’s not going to be fun for the most part. Remember that talent thing we talked about? That’s going to pay for your nutritionist and chef to come up with your meals and have them prepared at a moments notice, otherwise this shit is going to fall off the rails mighty fast. Also you’re going to need one of your staff people to be a fucking Rembrandt at photo shop and Adobe to touch up those pictures you take because NOBODY wants to really see what you look like. Almost done. Here’s the important part. You’re going to have to stretch the truth a little bit about how much you workout, eat, possibly some illegal not approve by the FDA or anyone with 3 letters of authority to protect our health that your doing/swallowing or have access to, along with all the other people behind the scenes your talent is paying for that allows you to look they way you do when you’re on stage or performing your “look at me” skill set. Telling people the actual truth of the time, money, people, risky “health” practices you do to be ready for lets say photo shoot, would ruin the fantasy and that shit could hurt ticket sales thus no more free time to look fantastic. Ready set go!!!! 

You’re not a celebrity. You work a 9-5 and have to do everything on you’re own. Don’t let those “I’m just like you” get to know me so you buy more of my shit interviews fool you into thinking you’re the same person. You’re not. There are nameless people that you’ve never seen or heard of that allows your favorite celeb to look great WHEN THEY NEED TO BE SEEN and you can’t afford them. If you have someone famous who you physically admire it’s ok to use them as motivation but unless you have the talent, money, and free time, I’d proceed with caution with trying to emulate their “looking and staying good” practices.